A Miscarriage Story - Celina Maldonado
Updated: May 8, 2021
The hardest thing during that time was feeling alone and incompetent. I seriously thought I was the only one, when you’re going through it, even though I had my husband and mom by my side, you just feel alone for lack of a better word. You feel like you’re the only one going through it. Not to mention the pain, I had never felt pain like that before. It was like I was in active labor for hours upon hours.
Constantly going to the bathroom and getting rid of the discharge and desperately searching for my baby to come out as I passed every single clot. I chose to do it naturally and let my body figure it out. Those were the longest 2 weeks of my life. My Ob was very helpful at answering any questions and I was able to go back and see him after the miscarriage process officially begun so that he could remove a large clot that was stuck. When I saw his face during the ultrasound my heart definitely sank, because immediately I knew something was wrong, I was crying my eyes out when he sent me downstairs to get the lab work.
When his nurse called me on accident and said that my labs looked ok, I was extremely hopeful only to find out she had made a mistake, because I told her I had seen the labs and the levels were way below what the doctor had said. So that’s when she realized that the doctor would have to call me so I had to wait for him to get out of surgery so that he could call me back and tell me the bad news. I still hold a special place in my heart for my baby. Even after I had my fourth baby, my rainbow baby, my heart still yearns for my angel baby. He was mine, and I’m so sad I didn’t get to meet him.
What helped me a lot afterwards was sharing my story, you won’t believe the outpouring of messages I got from family and friends who had gone through the same thing. It was so helpful to see that others had gone through this too, that I wasn’t the only one. That’s what helped me the most, to not feel alone.